The Bane And Peak Of Existence, That Is Life
Sometimes, we just need people, no matter what kind of a person they are. When someone goes to a therapist, they don’t give much thought to what sort of a person that therapist is, they just go there to take help to talk, to have someone to listen to them. And sometimes, that is all a person needs- to have someone to talk to about what their inner demons have to say. Usually, we choose a stranger instead of someone we already know, someone who already knows us, because it’s comfortable that way. But, why? Why do we choose to be vulnerable in front of a complete stranger than a friend? It’s not something I have fully come to understand, yet. I, too, would prefer talking to someone I didn’t know than a friend, at times. Then, why do we have friends? What need do we have of friends? Survival, maybe?
This life, I have so many questions for. I have so many, many to ask, but I can ask none, for it would make others question my sanity. It would make me question my whole existence. But, isn’t that what we’re for- to question the purpose of our very existence so that we may find some, if not a lot or God forbid, all the meaning in our lives?
But, what good is even trying to find meaning in our lives when we’re going to be dead and forgotten? What good is anything in life when it’s all going to be taken away from us or should I say, we’re going to be taken away from them? What is all the meaning going to do after we’re dead? Oh! We would have made a difference in the world. But, what difference is making a difference going to make if we’re not there to see it? Do we leave the world just like that? Do we not make our mark on it?
Me, I want to live a life that I’ll remember, but, more than that, I want to live a life that I’m proud of. I want to dream and see my dreams come true. I want to stand and stare out of the window and tell myself, “This is what I’d wished for.” I want to be a good person. I want to be good to my parents, I want to be good to my brother, I want to be good to my children and to myself. I want my children to look at me, someday in the future when they’re old enough and be proud of what they see. Yes, I want success and I want to chase it too, but what would it mean if it’s without integrity? Without love? What would anything mean if there is no love? Or if there isn’t anyone around to share it with?
I guess that’s why we have friends- to share it all with which is why I don’t want to make my life about just success and money, I want to make my life about friends too. My friends. I want to make my life about love and kindness. The love and kindness with which my parents raised me, is how I want to raise my children too and that is all the difference I have to make. The love and kindness with which my friends have treated me is all the meaning there should be to life. It’s what I wish to give away to this world and that’s all the mark I should have to leave on it. And all of this would only matter if there are people to share it with and I believe that’s why we have friends- to watch us leave our mark on this world and to have us watch them do it too, to tell each other how proud and grateful we are, for we had this life- this one life that we have lived and continue to live in the best possible way. We have them to bear witness to the things we have done and to the things we haven’t, to all that we have gained and to all that we have lost.
And this life is meant to be thrown questions at. People only question your sanity because they’re too comfortable with the ignorance and the meaninglessness and so are we with our shallow existence. Don’t be and dive into the depths of this ocean of existence, that is life. What good will it do to us when we’re dead and forgotten? Well, we’ll be dead, but not forgotten. Not entirely, at least. So, question life and live it with love and integrity because that’s what I strive to do. Why? Because I want to be proud of the person I become and the person I would have been when I look back. A life that I’m proud of, a life that I’ll remember!
The author is an MBBS student